: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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