Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
