i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
He kissed a someone with a penis
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
