Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
