Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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