what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Houston, we have a squirter
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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