their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
