i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
