So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
