Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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