i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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