So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
