If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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