GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
