I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Randomize
