Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize