This is not my ceiling
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize