so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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