you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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