OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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