WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
