My brain says no but my pants say off.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
