the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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