He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Floor bacon is actually really good
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
