i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
