Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
