All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize