You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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