it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Randomize
