There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
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