just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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