did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize