woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
