why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize