Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
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