two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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