She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Oh god it's open bar.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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