hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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