Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
