She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
