I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
