to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize