She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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