STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
