He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Randomize