DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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