I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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