You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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