he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
