she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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