ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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