This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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