I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
