what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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