The maid of honor just puked.
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Randomize
