Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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