No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
