Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
