the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
