Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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