How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
No...this little piggys going to the bar
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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