He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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